1/25/47

"The majesty of my thoughts this evening! Do all these things read alike as they seem to to? They all send a faint nausea thru me--albeit they were sincere at the time and I recant none of my articles of faith. This evening I picture theoretically myself at 70 saying it's done, it's finished, it's what it is, and being no nearer than I am. This moral turpitude at 70 won't be tolerable. I want a revolution now, a mild revolution, something that will put an even 20th century asceticism into me at least when I pass the grocery. The intellectual and artistic delights God gives us are visions and like visions we pay for them; & the thirst for the vision doesn't necessarily carry with it a thirst for the attendant suffering. Looking back I have suffered, not my share, but enough to call it that but there's a terrific balance due. Dear God please send me your Grace. "


4/14/47

"I must write down that I am to be an artist. Not in the sense of aesthetic flippery but in the sense of aesthetic craftmanship; otherwise I will feel my loneliness continually-- like this today. The word craftmanship takes care of the work angle & the word aesthetic the truth angle. Angle. It will be a life struggle with no consummation. When something is finished, it cannot be possessed. Nothing can be possessed but the struggle. All of our lives are consumed in possessing struggle but only when the struggle is cherished & directed to a final consummation outside of this life is it of any value. I want to be the best possible artist it is possible for me to be, under God.
I do not want to be lonely all my life but people only make us lonelier by reminding us of God. Dear God help me to be an artist, please let it lead to You."

--The ever so brilliant Flannery