That word rings stringently in my ear as it echoes with unusual clarity...WAR. War can refer to the political and international combat where lives are sacrificed and those in power feed on the souls of the innocent--but this war was resounding as my inward cry, deep and hostile. Even as I pronounce it aloud, I feel little understanding of its meaning. The battle. The fight. The thing that must be waged in order to attain some victory. To win. "War waging against your members." I have always haphazardly assumed that if there is war, there must be victory. I so deeply love sweet, sweet competition, since the victory is that much sweeter to my soul. But war is not like competition. No, no-- there is no victory in war-- winning a war is just as horrendous as losing. It's not about winning or losing, for all lose. Mason Jennings--one of the greatest lyricists of all time-- says in song of his regarding war, "I don't want no victory, I just want you back." I don't want any victory either, I just want the peace of God back. I have never come to ponder that war waged in my inside is a wrecking effect of insufficient or unstable peace in my inside. I once read that war is a cowardly escape of the problems of peace. I had not understood this-- that just as we resort to war amidst nations, so we too resort to internal war since our actions neglect the fostering of peace. But then, how do I employ peace to my soul without understanding the war that wages against it?

I don't know. I have noted it all wrong. I almost welcome this war inside, knowing that victory alone will prevail in goodness if I fight. I shall not coward to contend for war, but instead, I shall struggle for peace that surpasses the dreadfulness of war. If we desire peace to transcend internally to our external living, then we must not be so sufficely content with victory to our internally waged war. Labor must prevail for peace, not war. Oh Lord, that you will give us your peace.

"The mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.