Ehhhhh....

I cannot help but wonder what the junk I’m still doing here in Douglasville, Georgia. Same suburb-ia. Same room. Same bed. Same Sophie by my side. Same parents. Same place we’ve congregated as a family for the past 14 years. SAME. Same. sameeeeeee. And lookie here….here’s good ole Bethy wethy, back after set sailing to the land of college. Different, yes. Strange? Mmm, perhaps. Weird was always my underlying normalcy. Normal is nonexistent. I mean, really, what the crap is “normal”? There is this life that I’ve lived all around me. Every day I wake up I remember high school moments, I see awards from when I was 5 years old, and I look at pictures of family members who are no longer walking or breathing on this Earth. That’s the life I’ve lived. It’s just there—staring back at me.

Every morning I wake up to this environment just to repeat, “God, whatever parts of Beth you want me to discover and be today, I will be that.” And then I ask for faithfulness to actually do that. (That’s the hard part). And there are days that I reflect only to realize scarce discoveries, and hope that something was made aware in my subconscious, only to surface later on. No day is ever empty--whether I realize it or not.

And then I see the life I’m living. Really, really, living. Carpe Diem isn’t just for the little hellains who love to rebel and waste time to pretend like they’re seeking some adventure. Living is all inward anyways—and then involuntarily thrust and hastened to your veins and mouth. This compelling, majestic rejoice that cries out. You can’t shut this crap up. You can’t plan this “living” out, or set a certain date when this is to take place, or when it will actually be “real living.” It either is, or it isn’t. Either now or never.

These principles of life, these values, and ideals rooted in the power of the law of love emerge-- then we let the creative spirit ferment and simmer these forth. And just as you are compelled to unleash these founded truths, so are you bound with this stipulation to somehow affirm your capability to embrace such things. What will happen, and how will you and life and things all come about? And the truth is-- we don’t have any idea. You don’t know. I don’t know. Alas, will you become a mentally deranged looney? Quite possibly. Will you be alone with your “unthinkable and outlandish ideals,” completely misunderstood, or worse, no one even wanting to understand you? Maybe. Rejected at the finest level. But here is the beauty of the cyclic lifestyle of life, in not knowing—-we come back to the Source. Everything. In Him. Complete. All of it. You can’t stop the power of the law of love. When it is true, you just can’t stop it. Streams of living water...over-freakin-flow.